a reluctant readme

The company I work for asks all of their managers to create readme docs or user manuals to give context into the way folks tend to work, collaborate, and communicate. It’s meant to be a useful tool to facilitate inclusive work environments, especially for remote teams. As in… I have a doc that I can read to prep myself if we need to have a hard conversation together.

While it’s always useful to have context like this about the people you work closely with, there’s a big caveat here. These documents should never be used to encourage others to accommodate to the way we work, collaborate, and communicate. They should serve as a chance to be vulnerable, open, and honest with each other about our tendencies — for better or for worse — so that we can hold each other accountable.

There’s an added layer of complexity when these documents are only created by managers. It almost sends a signal to the team that they need to be prepared to adjust their own styles and tendencies to meet those of their managers. I think this is why the readme docs have always sat with me in a funny way…who are these meant to help? What is their purpose?

IMO, at their best, user manuals/readme’s should be:

1. Vulnerable with clear paths for accountability. Let’s take an example: if you’re someone who tends to interrupt people when you get excited, you can list this in your readme, but what’s next? If you’re a manager, you can tell people that you tend to do this, but let them know that it isn’t their responsibility to correct you. You could even label this section of your readme: “Things I’m working on improving about myself” or something like that. If you’re not a manager, you can list this more as a tendency, that it’s something you’re working on, and that you’re open to nudges and reminders to help you in this process.
2. Written with other people in mind, first. Consider how your default behaviors, reactions, and values may come across to others who work with you. How have you seen your behaviors rub people in the wrong way before? How do you account for this? Again, focus on how _you_ will accommodate other people based on what you know about yourself. Your readme should help folks understand how you tend to show up at work, and what you’re doing in the more aspirational sense to accommodate for some of your traits — the good and the bad.

With all that said, the biggest reason I’m writing this now is because I am lucky to work with really lovely humans who have thought about these things before I did. (Specifically Anjuan Simmons who has written about his own readme and process. Later on I’ll be borrowing heavily from his format). Here are some good examples of other user manuals I’ve seen:

Ok, so I cherry-picked some of my team’s user manuals to support my point. Oops! Still, I like this collection because in each case it invites me to work with this person as I am. It also sets me up to be able to share my concerns, feedback, and hold them accountable to their actions.

So, here goes. I’ll try mine now.

Rachel’s readme

Note to reader: I am currently a People Operations Business Partner, where my primary focus is to partner with our Engineering and Customer Support Teams on all things related to employee experience, performance, retention, and learning and development. My readme is written in the context of the type of work that I do, which is not exactly an independent contributor, nor is it a manager position.

It makes me nervous to write my own readme. I’m coming in with some serious bias: it’s always felt like these are meant to add burden to the person reading it. “You need to accommodate ME!!” That’s definitely uncomfortable as I pride myself as being someone who is open to change, flexible, and resourceful. I know I am not always those things, especially when I’m tired, sick, mentally exhausted, or just kinda hungry. But, I hope this document serves as a way to help you understand why I act the way that I do *just for context*. I am happy being imperfect because I know that I can continue to improve, learn, and grow. It’s not on you to help me do this — that’s on me, but I’m also going to include some ways that you can help me if you feel a) comfortable b) it’s important that I change something c) combo of the two.

My values (how I strive to be)

Inclusion. I am incredibly grateful for the people throughout my life who have directly or indirectly made me a better human. I seek to recreate those environments no matter where I am, so that everyone has an opportunity to learn and grow from each other.

Adaptability. I believe we all live in our own subjective little worlds — each company and its culture is subjective to what’s going on inside it, and what it’s working toward. Sure, there are common themes that we can see across many different companies, but each one is made of very different people who bring their own experiences and perspectives. As a People Ops Leader, I value my ability to adapt to what each individual needs from me: our ICs, our managers, our execs, and building a relationship that supports them in the way they most need in any given moment.

Integrity. As adaptable and flexible as I want and need to be, I also understand how important it is to be true to myself. Each relationship that I build at a company depends on my ability to be flexible to their needs, but to also be honest about my concerns and my values. I’ve found that great teammates want both of those things: that I can meet them where they are and also be open with them and share my perspective.

Trust. I’ve been told that I trust people too easily and too quickly. Certainly, this has gotten me into trouble before and I’m sure it will again. But, I believe it’s worth it. My work depends on relationship-building, which depends heavily on building trust with folks. When I start with trust, I’m being vulnerable with the other person, and I’m taking the first step. I know that some folks will need more time to return my trust, and that’s ok. (And I expect that!)

I’m motivated by

Helping others succeed, learning, having a positive impact, people-related challenges (surprise?). I’m a weirdo who actually likes change, so hit me up with your idea(s)/feedback, so we can discuss. Even if it’s not something we can do now, I’ll be energized just thinking about it.

What you can expect from me

I will listen first. I want to really _hear you_ and in my attempt to understand, I’ll ask questions or try to reframe what you just said from my own perspective to solidify it for myself.

What I expect from you

Your partnership. While this won’t happen overnight, my goal is to build a connection with you and your team so that I can do my best job of supporting all of you.

How I like to learn

I get a bit overwhelmed with practical, hands-on learning. I prefer to stay with a big idea, a theory — maybe watch a video, read a book/article, have a few conversations, and then figure out how to apply that to my work. During the “figuring out” something’s application to my life/work, I prefer to do this on my own. I’m an introvert after all :)

Some things that bother me

Disrespectful behavior or actions whether toward me or someone else. We all have our bad days, but I am quite observant and will notice if someone has treated someone else poorly. What will make me feel better is that we have a common understanding of how I should approach you about these topics and move forward. I also dislike being interrupted or seeing others interrupted. I’m a listener first, so when I do speak up or find something to share, it has taken me considerable effort to get there. It’s disheartening/demotivating to be interrupted even if your intent was not malicious.

Some things that delight me

Confidence has always been an issue for me, and I’m working on this. I genuinely value being recognized for my work, including the specifics. While, of course, I appreciate more general praise, the more specific, the better, so I know what I can replicate again in the future. Going back up to the “I’m motivated by” section, will also tell you I like to have opportunities to learn something new, or improve an existing skill. I also get a ton of energy by knowing I can help others succeed or have a positive impact on your team.

I prefer to give feedback by

I’ll be flexible based on your needs. I know some folks want to get something in writing to process before we talk, while others want to discuss everything one-on-one. Let’s make sure I know what you prefer and I can accommodate that.

I prefer to receive feedback by

One of my personal goals is to be more proactive about seeking feedback, so to that end, I want to be much more open, and receptive to it. Please share feedback with me in any way that is most comfortable to you.

Things that may seem weird to you

(This is really a caveat for the previous idea but,) I need time to process something you’ve told me or asked me about. I’ll tell you I’m processing so you know, and will come back to you in a timely manner, so we can continue to discuss.

I do a lot of nonverbal responses in video chat. Nodding, smiling, etc. I’ve noticed I do this so that folks know I’m listening and have heard you. It doesn’t mean I’m just being agreeable.

Probably many more, that I’ll need to add later, ha.

So, there’s my very first readme doc. It can certainly be improved, so I’ll be eager to hear what you think. Also, I’d love to hear more about how you’d implement something like this at your company if you aren’t doing it already. And if you’ve been using this where you are now, what’s changed over time? How does your team take full advantage of these documents? Thanks for reading through!